I can tuck mytits in my pants
But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
This is an alert from the drunk police: you have reached the point of no return. Text messages past this point are illegible.
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
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