I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
Randomize
