The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
This has been your unwelcomed wake-up call, brought to you by exes united. Have a good day, to opt out please type "STOP", to continue but act as though they do not exist please enter "DON'T CARE" for random daily wake up texts by exes united please press "PSYCHO!"
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
I believe in your delicious
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Randomize
