I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
Randomize
