I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
Randomize
