just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
Randomize