found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
Randomize
