She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
