he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
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