She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
Randomize
