If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
Randomize
