The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
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