thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
Randomize
