I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
Randomize
