She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
That was before I lit my hair on fire
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
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