I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
My dog just blew me a kiss. First of all I'm stoned and second of all he's a pitbull. Those aren't sexual dogs. So wtf.
Randomize
