FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
Randomize
