we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
Acid is not a monday night drug
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
How'd your date go last night?
Well I blacked out at 1:30 and woke up naked in not-my-date's bed with an uneaten Jimmy John's sandwich.
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Randomize
