I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
May the power of my ass compel you!!
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
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