Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
Randomize
