My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
I just realized I use Twitter to keep of track of when I get drunk.
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
Randomize
