My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
my fingers and penis are no longer on speaking terms. My penis is too jealous of where my fingers get to go.
at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
Randomize
