I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
Randomize
