keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
I still have a little drunk in my system
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
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