i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
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