So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
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