Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
Randomize
