just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
the day after is always just damage control
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
Randomize