I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
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