Buhtt sex?
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
Randomize
