Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
Randomize
