Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
He asked me when I was coming to bed while simultaneously drilling a fart into the mattress. Don't fucking get married.
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
Randomize
