escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
I will be naked everywhere
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
I informed him that we had less than 5 minutes left to live, and his first words were "I'm trying to think of a good They Might Be Giants quip"
Randomize