i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
We need to feng shui this bitch.
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