yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
did i walk over a car last night?
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
Randomize
