i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
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