I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
Randomize
