in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
the highlight of my day was when my dad called me when I was watching porn and I muted it instead of pausing it.
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
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