Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
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