Soap is not a condiment
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
Randomize
