smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
Randomize
