I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
I have already put on my inside pants.
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
Randomize
