New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Soon to be ex is nowhere to be found. Her attorney/new BF just showed up. 30 minutes late looking hungover. Pretty sure I'm getting the kids AND the house!
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