There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Randomize
