I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
I swear to god I'm going to hunt down and stab the next telemarketer that calls from a blocked number while I'm waiting for my STD results...
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
Randomize
