Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
Randomize
