hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
Randomize
