this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
Randomize
