my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
I need you to promise me that the first one to find out our kids smoke weed, takes the weed so we can smoke it ourselves
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
My CPA just snapchatted me a picture of her playing beer pong at a picnic. Time to do my own taxes?
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Randomize
