How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
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