I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
well you can't waste a boner
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
you are never too drunk for berry picking
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
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