The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
last night I used snow as a chaser
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
Randomize
