O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
wow bdsm is so cute
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
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