Did you read the article making fun of the right wing extremists? How they organized this 'tea party', and to propagate it they would mail teabags to their senators? And it became a verb...they had posters saying 'teabag obama!' yeah...
A message to Mrs Obama perhaps?
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
We left an ass print on the piano.
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
Life update: This fucking MacBook repair guy called me over last night for a booty call and he didn’t have a condom OR a bed
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
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