TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
did i just pee glitter
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
Randomize