You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
Randomize
