I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
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