just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
COCAINE IS GR8
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
Randomize
