There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
Randomize