Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
Actions speak louder than pants.
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
Randomize
