i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
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