Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
Say something about gay babies.
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
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