I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
I supernannyed him into submission
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
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