Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
Randomize
