how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
you inspire me to be a worse person
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
