I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
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