Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
Here's a fun fact your kittens ate my vomit last night
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
Randomize
