Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
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