question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
Randomize
