Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
That's the last time you call me to prove to some girl at a bar that you're English. It's bad enough that you actually get to fuck them because of it without having to wake me up to seal the deal.
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
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