Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
My kid just put flowers in my hair to make me pretty, then showed my boobs to an entire playground. He's either the best wingman or the worst.
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
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