There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
Randomize
