I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
Randomize