the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
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