I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
Randomize
