after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
I wear drunk well.
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
Randomize
