I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
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