I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
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