glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
I want her autograph on my taint
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Dear Ex-Sister-in-Law, I never thought I would say this, but I just found your panties in my back seat. Please remind me to give them back.
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
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