I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
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