That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
Randomize
