you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
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