Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
tonight lets celebrate not being married
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
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