So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
Woke up this morning to a janitor hitting me in the head with his bucket in the hallway of my building. An alumni was next to me because we locked ourselves out of my room and couldn't figure out where my roommates were.
your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
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