For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
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